Sunday, December 26, 2010

The Tsunami and My Glass House

This is my subconscious brain... So I had this dream a while back that I would like to jot down - so here goes...

I stand in the middle of this room with glass walls overlooking the ocean, filled with random people - men, woman, children , all staring in the same direction - out the huge glass windows out into the ocean. there are three tall white tables sporadically placed throughout the room and one has torn paper with crayons on it.

When I look out the window I notice that a tsunami is coming- I know this tsunami is caused by some far off catastrophe and that I need to write my family a note because this tsunami is coming straight toward my glass house. some people just stare others are frantic - but the tsunami which is getting closer and closer is not the only danger in the room there is this dark grey thick smoke curling and seeping its way through the door way in the back.

The dark smoke is unstoppable and I am sure it is death. It has no form but it moves through all of the people with determination and direction ... right toward me. I am afraid and I am sure I am going to die as the smoke enters my body. But I didn't die instead I turned around and breathed in on an unsuspecting young girl which looked a lot like me. She too was afraid and my breath froze her.

I was very scared at this point and the tsunami wave was now a bazillion feet tall and really close. So I decided to run through the house to look for a way out. I entered a room that had a window, and what I noticed was that this glass house of mine was lodged in a mountain of rock and that the water was rising outside of the window in the crevice of the house and rock. With every wave the water level got higher and higher.

So I ran down this hall way which slanted down and turned into an under ground pier of sorts where boats were tied and a red light was flashing slowly on and off. My Mom Nita sat on the pier and I told her that we needed to get out. And she sat there calmly and told me that there was no way out.

So that was my dream -My conscious brain processing this amazing dream. This is the poem that I wrote afterward.

September 16th, 2010 10:25 am

I confirm my own destiny.

TIDAL waves of emotion attempt
To break the walls of
glass house
And I watch
with other
moving in
pictures to loved ones.
But wait the waves
are NOT
the only fear.
Lurking in
Seeping through
Floating up
It's smokey paler
has no form
no way
to bottle that fear up.
He GETS you
and you have
whether you GET him.
I breathed it in
and survived -
but was
compelled to
Breath on a frightened
Short haired girl
auburn gold hair
eyes matching
I cannot escape the Shadow
or myself
The glass room
by water.
I can see the waves
getting taller
All I can do is
Run through rooms
Looking for a safe exit
to set everyone free.
All I see
is the water
outside the window.
We are in bedded in
and the water
pushes its way
and fills
the crevasses
between you
and me.
I am surprised that the
stays still unbroken
Some of me wishes the pressure
would end
the other half
houses a fearful curiosity
Both sides are
waiting for the
Tsunami Waves
and the constant
beating of the Ocean
to wash
away the walls
set us free.
To cleanse this prison
of self isolation
Let me Cry,
Let me Feel unabashed,
Let me Love.

I had a conversation with my brother about an hour ago, read him the poem and told him my dream - It was the first time that I realized that when I talked to my mom in the dream she was telling me that I could not run away. That I had to face it all no matter what. I am glad she was there and that I understand just that much more.

Thanks for reading,


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